I wouldn't have it any other way!
So I've decided that in small ways each year I will honor the Solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa & the new year.
Last Sunday we celebrated Hanukkah at my church.
On a personal note, I am seeking three Hanukkah miracles :
1. Nine clients for January.
2. $300 000 saved up by Fall 2010.
3. Success in my North American immigration journey.
In honor of the solstice, I am taking time out to enjoy the weather and also go through transformations so that I emerge from the spring triumphant. The winter transformations I am working on are
1. getting in super awesome shape so that in the spring I can start training for my marathon.
2. to be thinking mostly all positive thoughts by the spring. I'm doing very well with that one... It's amazing how much progress I continue to make on this. It's beautiful.
Speaking of Christmas. Last night I went to the Christmas Eve service at my church. It was so beautiful. The first time in my life that I saw something good that is related to Christianity. I love my church. It's Unitarian Universalist meaning that we are open to all beliefs and everyone can decide from themself what spiritual living means and we find out connection through being human. It's soooo amazing to be part of this family.
During last night's service we sang carols. The pastor lit a candle and everyone had their own candle and we passed on the flame until everyone's candle was lit. We sang "The twelve days of Christmas" Elmo style !!! The pastor retold the nativity scene in a very cool way. He stopped at three different points to focus on three aspects:
1. Embarking on a Journey. This woman came up to share a super duper inspirational story about her life. She's been a social worker for many years, she comes from a large family and is always the one who is relied on to take care of things. She's been a single parent for many many years. Her life has been about giving giving giving. Until one day something happened that prompted her to do more of the things she wants to do. So she got a tattoo, and took more ownership of just being an individual. She talked about how in our UU community you receive more than you give so it makes you want to give even more...so true....This really moved me. The main reason I left teaching is that each year I felt like I was giving and giving and losing without getting back in my life. Taking care of my family and disintegrating in the process. I felt like I did teach as a back up plan but really I hadn't figured out what I wanted yet. But now I know what I want. Since I left teaching, I spend all my time doing only the things I want to do. Fuck convention or what anyone thinks of me. I'm living my life and it's bloody beautiful:) There is no reason to compromise or succumb to the norm. It makes me happy as it is and it will only get better from here.
2. Being turned away at the Inn. One of the congregation members shared with us how crappy the health system in North America is and how unless you go to a private hospital, you need to go through the emergency care and usually they don't let you stay overnight and admit you unless you can convince them you're doing. As a result of this system, her monther's stroke systems went ignored until she finally had the stroke and almost died. Effin North America and Allopathic medicine. It makes me so angry...like peopel tell me about their 10 minute doctor visits??? what is that? Naturopathic Doctors spend 60-90 minutes with you - really caring and helping you figure out and treat the cause of disease...these two types of doctors should work together to bring health to the people...fat chance. In 6 years I'll be an ND. I digress.
3. Giving birth. At this point, a woman came up to share with us about how she had her daughter a year ago. It was great to hear her talk about how bitchy she was during the last days of pregnancy, but how when the baby was born, just one look into her eyes brought so much hope and beauty into her world. Ok... and so my little wondering mind began to fantasize about making babies!! For a split second.
The service was so beautiful. The people at my congregation are my family. I am so happy and blessed. After the service, the children pounced on the gingerbread house outside the church. One of my friends asked me where my bf was. Then I just got annoyed and sad that she'd asked me that question. For the first time this season, it dawned on me that maybe I was a little sad not to be seeing him on this day. I know it's just a day and I don't care. But after my friend asked me, I actually gave it some thought and I felt sad. Oh well.
Then i went home and I made beautiful meal!!! I made organic cranberry sauce with agave nectar. It tastes better than the canned stuff. I made it from scratch and it's all healthy - you can eat miles of it without getting a sugar high!! It's flavoured with cinnamon, allspice and ginger and has apples and pears and oranges in there...how delish. I also baked some yummy dark mean turkey and cooked delishus brown basmati rice. The best part - I made a brilliant vegetable peanut stew with kale, chard, mushrooms and lots of other goodies. This stew is sooo divine. I wish someone would share it with me.
Now I'm up. updating my blog. I'm going to the gym!!! It's Christmas morning and I'm going to the gym even though I haven't been in forever! Only I would choose to do something like this.
Then I'll come home and cook delish breakfast, watch cheesy holiday movies on my laptop while the cherry pie is baking. Then I'm off to Christmas Dinner with E & B from church at their house. They get to sample my cranberry sauce!! yay :) Then after that it's home time.
And tommorow is day one of kwanzaa!!! Tommorow I want to go to the gym and the movies. I'm one of those resolution people, so I'm thinking of what I want to work on in 2009. I will choose three main things with tangible results. yippeee yippeeee yippeee.
I guess the holiday spirit did catch on to me after all. I'm having fun and doing only the things I want to do. Hip hip hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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